TO MEN
Your consciousness of the human condition reflects your character.
Your character reflects how you treat others.
How you treat others reflects your impact on the world.
This is your reflection.
Do you like what you see?
To Men,
You need to be aware. You need to be mindful. You must understand your place in society. You must not remain complicit in a society that needs to evolve. You must fight. You are obligated to do something. You are obligated to fight.
I’m sure you’ve seen this picture before and initially assumed the obvious— two affectionate lovers. The two pictured were not lovers. They were strangers. The male pictured— saw her, grabbed her, and kissed her. You can see his firm grasp on her waist, her clenched fist and unbalanced stance. He didn’t ask. He decided what he wanted and simply, took it.
What if she had not wanted that? What if she was married?
Clearly, it didn’t matter. He forced his body onto hers.
He forced his lips onto hers.
Did he care?
Under no circumstance is it okay for someone to physically pursue another person unprovoked. It is unacceptable to not be given the respect that we as humans deserve
for the sole reason we are human.
Today, globally, one in three women has experienced some form of physical or sexual violence. Keep in mind that this statistic alone,
is the number of cases that have been reported.
You see this everyday. Women are sexualized, catcalled,
‘checked out’, talked about, and seen as objects so often
to the point where it has become the ‘norm’.
How is this normal?
If you care, genuinely, then uphold your nobility and decide: what will you do to change this rhetoric?
How will you protect women, who have been hurting since the beginning of time?
How will you protect women like myself?
I can’t tell you how old I was because I myself can’t remember. I had been repressing it for years.
I had been rationalizing it for years. I had numbed myself. It wasn’t until recently that memories were triggered and everything I had been repressing fled to the surface.
I was carelessly scrolling through social media when I came across an open letter concerning Woody Allen, written by his daughter. She had spoken up against his sexual exploitation of her. I read her letter and it felt familiar. Something clicked.
I had experienced something similar when I was a young girl. Taken away to be alone with him. A closet. Touched in places I did not want to be touched. Threatened if I did not cooperate. Mandated: “Don’t tell anyone.” Zipping up my jeans, acting like nothing happened. Confused. Multiple occasions. Feeling guilt and shame afterwards. Powerless. Hiding to avoid these encounters. Anxious, not knowing if they would happen again. Remembering every so often and brushing them off until I learned there was a pattern of this type of encounter– a name for it. Until I realized it directly applied to me– sexual assault.
As if my body wasn't mine.
It clicked. As a young girl, I experienced sexual assault.
I will carry this with me, but I will grow.
I have grown.
Sexual assault is strikingly common. Don’t feel bad for me, for women, for us.
Don’t try to understand how we feel because you won’t.
Instead, be mindful of the commonalities of these issues. Be mindful of experience.
Acknowledge the depth of pain endured and fight— in any and every way you can.
Not violating, not catcalling, not sexualizing women— it’s not enough. We know these things are wrong. As human beings, you are obligated to stop others from letting women feel this way. To not let these things happen to our women. Protect us, heal us, be mindful, be aware. If you hear it happening— your sister’s friend pressuring her, your friend’s boyfriend manipulating her, your mom’s boss mistreating her– you must speak. If you see it happening— a drunk girl being led upstairs, a man objectifying a woman, a woman looking uncomfortable because of the way she is being treated— you must take action.
It seems obvious, but I am so sure of the fact that most of you are complicit. I am positive that most of you brush hearing and seeing these things off because it does not directly affect you.
If you are a man, if you are human, it should affect you. You must say something, you must stop it.
If you don’t, you’re part of the problem.
Your consciousness of the human condition reflects your character.
Your character reflects how you treat others.
How you treat others reflects your impact on the world.
This is your reflection.
Do you like what you see?
RESOURCES:
CALL:
MULTILINGUAL HELPLINE: 1-888-888-7702 *Available 24/7
SUICIDE PREVENTION: 1-800-273-8255 *Available 24/7
SEXUAL ASSAULT: 1-800-656-4673 *Available 24/7
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: 1-800-799-7233 *Available 24/7
RAPE CRISIS: 631-332-9234 *Available 24/7
HATE CRIME: 631-626-3156 *Available 24/7
SELF HARM: 1-800-273-TALK *Available 24/7
OR
TEXT/CHAT:
*Click 'Chat Now' on top right: http://www.thehotline.org/
IMMEDIATE COUNSELING:
Text 'CONNECT' to 741741 anywhere from the USA, ANYTIME about ANYTHING.
HELPFUL LINKS:
WOMANKIND: https://www.iamwomankind.org/ : Strives to work against gender based violence and social inequality against women.
LOVE YOURSELF PROJECT: http://www.loveyourselfproject.org/ : Strives to heal our world with self-love.